Some time ago I found myself, at a crossroad in my job, unsure of which path to choose. It’s not that I was unhappy, but I wasn’t happy either. I found myself just going through the motions sometimes even dragging myself to this particular commitment week after week. On one hand, I was serving some amazing people but the other, I had an empty feeling inside  like this isn’t really what I wanted. 

So, I kept on shoving this feeling away, ignoring that gnawing feeling in my gut and justifying it with how people responded to this particular offering, I was collaborating with amazing people and there wasn’t anything obviously wrong. 

Except

There was

It was that ‘not quite-right” feeling I kept ignoring

It was the exhaustion that came from pushing through

It was the part of me that didn’t want to let these amazing people down

So I pushed through

Until 

I had an eye-opening “AHA moment”

We experienced a sudden passing of a dear family member and it knocked me like a ton of bricks. How can we just be here one day and gone the next? How fragile is this life that we just don’t know what comes next?

Reality hit me hard, it made me aware that my time is limited too and when my time comes would I be satisfied with how I am currently moving through life?

I asked myself, “Do I really want to live the rest of my life making those around me happy while silently shoving the ‘not quite-right’ feelings away?”

Isn’t it at least worth trying  to find something that will make me feel that “ah yes this is it” feeling I’m looking for?   

In the words of Mary Oliver, ee only have this “one wild and precious life”. 

I made an important decision to always check in with myself and to HONOUR that subtle voice.

I stepped away from that role shortly after, despite loving the people and the environment, I CHOSE ME. 

(And I am so aware that this choice isn’t always immediately available- sometimes it’s a goal that we work towards slowly)

The point is that I know I’m not alone in this.

Many of the women I work with are intelligent, capable, successful, and deeply caring. Yet beneath the surface they are exhausted from second-guessing themselves too.

Constant overthinking

They wonder whether they are being too much, too sensitive, too emotional, too selfish.

They have become disconnected from one of the most important relationships in their lives: The relationship with themselves.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to trust everyone else’s opinion while doubting your own?

You know what you feel.

Yet you look outside yourself for confirmation.

You know what you need.

Yet you convince yourself it can wait.

You know a boundary needs to be set.

Yet you question whether you’re being unreasonable.

What does it mean to have self-trust?

Many people think self-trust and confidence are the same thing.

They’re not.

Confidence is believing you can do something.

Self-trust is a subtle yet unshakable belief that whatever happens next, you’ve got this. 

Self-trust is the ability to honour your needs, listen to your gut feelings, trust that your experience is valid. It enables you to stay anchored under pressure and make the important decisions without external validation. 

One can appear confident and still have very little self-trust.

In fact, many women do.

Self-Trust Is Often Lost Slowly

Self-trust slowly wears down in little moments over time

When you ignore your exhaustion and push through.

When you dismiss your feelings.

When you override your needs to keep the peace.

When you ask someone else what you should do instead of pausing to ask yourself.

What Happens When You No Longer Trust Yourself?

At first, it can feel subtle,  second-guessing decisions, needing reassurance
 or struggling to know what you really feel

Over time, the body starts living in reaction mode instead of responsiveness. We slowly numb that inner knowing and run on autopilot 

Why Self-Trust Is Also A Nervous System Experience

When your nervous system spends long periods in survival mode, your ability to access your inner wisdom becomes much harder.

When you’re anxious, overwhelmed, burnt out, or constantly activated, everything can feel uncertain.

You start looking outside yourself for answers because your body no longer feels like a reliable place to come home to.

Self-trust isn’t built through positive thinking, going on vacations or having a self-care day…

It is rebuilt through repeated experiences of listening, responding, and reconnecting with yourself.

Self-trust isn’t about always getting it right.

It’s about knowing that even when you get it wrong, you won’t abandon yourself.

It’s learning to stay in relationship with yourself when things are uncertain.

It’s remembering that your emotions carry information.

Your needs matter.

Your experience matters.

 

The women I work with rarely need more information.

What they need is a way back to themselves.

Through The Anchored Self Method™️, I help women move from overwhelm, self-doubt, and emotional reactivity to greater self-trust, emotional steadiness, and self-connection.

Because when you learn to regulate your nervous system, it becomes easier to hear your own voice again.

And once you can hear it, you can begin trusting it.

Learn more about working with me or join the waitlist for The Anchored Self Method™️.